BY: Lisa Angeletti

There was a publishing phenomenon that occurred when authors Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo wrote the relationship/dating book - He’s Just Not That Into You. Women were reading it like they had no idea. No clue.

Hey, I skimmed it in between feeding the kids and an episode of Desperate Housewives - but it all sounds like stuff we’ve heard before. I mean– really. Isn’t it all common sense?

Do we as women not really know when a man doesn’t call us after a date that the guy just wasn’t that interested. I think we do. It seems as if we really want to know why? Why isn’t he interested. Was it something I said or did? Was it something I was wearing? Is it what I do for a living? Is it because I slept with him too fast or not at all? What is it! We just want to know. If not to fix it with you, then to be prepared for the next man.

If we all weren’t so insecure about who we are and the position we play in this world - we wouldn’t second guess every move we make. I mean I’m all about trying to improve oneself. Recognizing mistakes. Correcting them. But basically, you are who you are. If the man you just had dinner with wasn’t interested enough to come back for more — then GirlShrink says (respectfully:) PEACE!

Sometimes I think that our parents may have overdid things. They were so focused on boosting our self confidence and self-esteem that we believe that there must be a complicated explanation as to why someone wouldn’t be interested in us. I mean you - not interested in me? Huh?

And then of course as I mentioned earlier there are those of us that swear that there are a million things wrong with us and we just want to know which one turned off this man that we were really interested in. We want to know what’s wrong with us.

But really…no matter what our background or baggage we bring to the table - it’s a concept that we probably need to start teaching our children. Everyone is not going to love you. Everyone is not going to like you. And that’s okay.

Do you hear me ladies? That is okay. 5 things to remember…

1. Don’t change a thing. You know that you are just fine the way you are.

2. Go out tonight. Get right back on that horse again and be open to meeting more men.

3. Don’t hide in the land of DENIAL. Be honest with yourself and move on.

4. Ask for what your worth. Don’t settle for someone clearly sending you signals of indifference.

5. Use your common sense. You don’t need a book to tell you what your instincts already have!

Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and an online advice authority. She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998. Visit her for Advice & Counseling, or take a free Depression Screening today.

BY: Nicholas Ahern

Are you looking for acne solutions that really work? The good news is, whether you’re a teenager or an adult suffering from acne, you don’t have to live with it. Here you can find 10 super easy and effective ways to get rid of acne.

1. Do not pick, press or rub your pimples. These actions actually increase the sebum production and rupture the membranes below your skin. The infection and sebum will spread underneath your skin and cause more pimples. Also, you risk increasing the chances of leaving scars on your face.

2. Wash your face twice a day using a mild soap. It is even better if you can buy sulfur-based soap especially for acne. If your skin is too oily, use a soap with benzoyl peroxide. Do not use rough sponges, brushes, or anything similar on your face. You shouldn’t, however, over-wash your face because it will actually stimulate your sebaceous glands to produce more sebum which will increase your acne.

3. Check if it is because of the food. For many people, food allergy can cause very serious acne condition. You should avoid eating too much oily and spicy food. Recent studies have shown that acne can also be caused by milk which contains hormones as well as seafood with relatively high levels of iodine.

If possible, cut down on those foods. Other foods you may consider avoiding are: sugar, dairy products, deep-fried food, meat, nut butters, etc. On the other hand, it is believed that green vegetables, vegetable fuices and foods rich in zinc can help alleviate acne condition.

4. Drink more water every day. “Eight glasses of water a day can keep acne away.” says Jennifer Thoden, a respected acne expert. The reason is that water can carry waste material out of our body and it really helps heal and prevent acne flare-ups.

5. Do not wear makeup if possible. Makeup products can clog your pores, cause more blackheads and pimples. If you have to wear makeup, make sure it is water-based. Be sure to clean your makeup brushes regularly and cleanse your skin before you sleep.

6. Do not use oily products. Avoid products such as hair pomades, intense oil-based facial moisturizers, and oily cleansers.

7. Keep your face clean. Do not rest your chin on your hands or constantly touch your face. Regular shampoo your hair and keep it off your face, especially when you sleep.

8. Exercise moderately as it helps in blood circulation and eliminataion of toxins.

9. Stay stress-free. Studies have shown that stress not only worsens acne flare-up, it also worsens the overall skin condition. Talk to your friends, listen to your favorite music, or take a walk in the park. There are many things you can do to be stree-free.

10. Get Sunshine and fresh air. Sunshine stimulates vitamin D in the body, an essential vitamin for healthy skin. Fresh air and sunshine can also reduce stress (tip #9) and increase oxygen to the skin. Don’t get burnt in the sun though. Burnt and heavily tanned skin forms a layer on the skin that doesn’t exfoliate quickly enough and can lead to blocked pores.

BY: Irma Givens

Have you ever had a major setback stop you in your tracks? Well, you’re not by yourself. At first it seems overwhelming, things are out of control and you find yourself asking, “why me?” Guess what? It’s not only you. We all experience setbacks, some more than others, during our lifetime. For me, it was a sudden unexpected event. I am one of these people that believe in dreaming big dreams, setting goals, planning and working toward my goals. I felt like all my ducks were in a row. Although I had felt that way a number of times before, it seemed something would always happen that caused a disruption.

Yeah that’s it! It’s all cyclical. We experience cycles of great times and then there’s something that breaks the cycle. Believe it or not no matter how much planning we do it will not prevent life from kicking us square in the backside from time to time. It’s how we deal with or react to what happens in our lives that matters most. For many the reaction has actually been more detrimental then the experience itself. Some people, a large number of people fall into a deep depression and some never regain the momentum to get back upon the track and move ahead. Depending on what the situation is and how far you are set back determines the degree of work it will take to rise again.

For me the setbacks were severe and many. I felt like I was playing dominos. They were falling fast and I had no way of stopping them. Initially, I had the energy to work toward regaining the momentum. It just seemed like I was hit with one thing after another. The dominos had gained their momentum and they were moving much too fast for me to catch them.

I can testify to the fact that it’s hard work to get back in the game. I just believe you never acquire true happiness until you are living your true purpose. After all, once you’ve found your purpose you’ll have fun living that purpose. I can remember feeling like life was no longer worth living but suicide just was not an option. Just hold on with all your might, do your best everyday and never give up.

I heard Les Brown once say “OQP” (Only Quality People). Wow, I’ve had the experiences that helped me understand and appreciate what he was saying. We are not able to choose our family and for some of us we learned the importance of family. We learned to stick together. Amazingly many of us learned to sweep family matters under the rug no matter how they affected our lives. We often carried some of these lessons over into our close friendships. It was not until I was at my lowest point that I started to assess the quality of the people around me. My brother had a bad habit of being the taker in our relationship. He always seemed needy. During most conversations with him the topic was him and his situation. Over time, that left me feeling like he didn’t value me. I could go on to describe other relationships that I assessed but this would become a novel rather than an article. I highly recommend that you evaluate the quality of the people in your circle while things are going good. Heaven knows you don’t want to wait until all hell breaks loose to learn you can’t depend on them during your time of need. What about emotional support? Is this person honest with you when you need them to be? Is this person helping you grow? Does this person provide constructive criticism? Decide what characteristics are of value to you? Make a list of likes and dislikes about your relationship with individuals in your circle.

Don’t procrastinate another day! Start right now where you are with what you have. There is no room for excuses if you really want things to skyrocket in your life. Go through life everyday with a sense of urgency. Remember to believe in yourself if when others doubt you. Know that I believe in you…YOU CAN DO IT!

BY: Monique Gilmore Scott

A couple of weeks ago, a girlfriend in Texas suggested I become a “sex” consultant for a company as a way to earn extra income. I laughed at the thought of me sharing “sexual insight” with women about their intimate lives as I am tired enough trying to keep my own romance-life zesty.

After thinking about it for a few days, I posed the idea to dear hubby and asked him what he thought about me becoming a “sex” consultant for a party company? He paused for a few seconds then shook his head, no. Actually, I was more relieved than I realized as I knew there was no way I could tote a romance kit around town doing in-home parties. Furthermore, where would I hide my “romance” inventory to keep my curious 8 and 5 year olds from stumbling upon my stash? Was this a real concern? Unlike my bag of family-fun games, where my children go into the hallway closet to grab board games any time they want to play, the sex bag of goodies would be too risky. Imagine for a moment my kids accidentally whipping out a feather teaser or more embarrassing a purple vibe.

That aside, deep down I had to be honest, confront me and ask myself, “What’s the big deal, really? Am I afraid to learn more than the standard, traditional romantic ways? It hit me that at my tender age, I was indeed fairly naïve and reserved on account of my religious upbringing, cause anything more than a few sexual positions, candles and music seemed to be deemed worldly and vile. Well, by golly, I decided it was time to become unshackled and liberate my mind - emancipate my hang ups all in the name of my marriage bed.

Armed with the power of the Internet, I began a quest to find a website where I could explore and become more knowledgeable about romancing my mate with the varied items that accompany said endeavor. My pursuit was not uninhibited as I kept bumping into websites with naked people with explicit positions highlighted on the front page. Eventually, I was directed to www.itslifeitslove.com , a classy, chic-looking, catch-you-off-guard website that offered enough product s for me to explore and investigate without the XXX rated aura.

At the subtle website, I learned that there are more items to help initiate a romantic evening with my husband then the traditional, yet humdrum mellow music and fragrant candles. The appropriate tilted website lured me with it’s elegance, allowing me to explore by placing an order for the Chocolate Paint Box kit, with brush included (uh oh), some body soufflés, (you read right), a game called 101 nights (I’m sure the hubby will dig that number) along with other romance enriching items.

I grinned the entire way through the online shopping aisle, filling my cart past my self-imposed limits, while in the comfort and privacy of my home and with my car parked in the garage with a full tank of gas. (At $4.11/gallon).

This entire experience is going to be such a surprise for dear hubby and fun for us. After pressing that order button I felt empowered-moving past my conservative ways and inhibitions. Exhale. My order is due to arrive any time, any day now and I will keep you posted. Wait, I think I hear the delivery truck pulling up. Stay tuned…

Yours Truly,

Unshackled.

Monique Gilmore is an award-winning romance author of over 300,000 in print romance novels (BET Books). She is a willing wife and a work-from-home mom of two busy beauties, AKA, children. When not writing, she is an on-air radio personality and spends time promoting her new web community: http://divastalksports.ning.com.

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Many of us have always assumed that we would meet our soulmates, get married, and have children all while we conquered the world in our respective careers. Oh how we were fooled! The fact is - is that was never the story of our grandmothers, sort of the story of our mothers, and definitely the story of many of us, just not most of us.

If you are single — you probably know that you are not alone, but you may not care about that. With all the media attention towards the fact that our biological clocks are ticking - we are running scared. How are we going to ever have the children we want if we don’t meet the man? I mean they are necessary:)

So this is my advice. There is no shame or desperation in knowing what you want out of life. Admitting that you want a relationship is fine. So what do you normally do when there is something you want? You go out there and get it right? Well, that’s what you have to do in order to meet the next Mr. Right.

First, don’t let your fear of being alone forever overwhelm you. No matter what your age - it’s never too late for love. Never. So the first bit of business is to change your attitude about what the future holds.

Think of all the places you have been to in the past month. If they mainly consist of going to work and possibly the supermarket, and then home - then we’ve got a problem! You must expand your pool of opportunity. Mr. Right is not going to knock on your front door and invite himself in.

Put the word out. Meeting a man through someone you know is always great because you have a point of reference. You have at least one person to check out his background and give you a full report on the last girlfriend:)

Stay positive. When you go out, you can’t go out expecting the worse - it will show all over your face and through your body language. Remember that most communication is non-verbal. Arms crossed? Head down? You are unapproachable.

Get a hobby. Find something else to do while you are waiting for Prince Charming. It will help you grow and get your mind off of things. Plus, you are much more appealing to someone if you have outside interests.

Ditch your buddies. You don’t have to take this absolutely literally, but it has been proven that a woman who goes out alone or with one friend has a much easier time meeting someone then a woman who has a posse!

There are worse things than being single. Keep things in perspective. Life is great. Don’t let your life slip you by because you were overly concerned with things that really don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

If you are just doing all of this to have a baby and don’t really care about a relationship - then adopt! There are oodles of babies and children out here that need parents who want them.

BY: Lande Yoosuf

Non-violent offenders in Virginia are fighting for second chance at civil liberties. Virginia’s social and civic organizations plan to collaborate with Virginia Governor Timothy M. Kaine to assist ex-felons in reclaiming their voting rights. Republicans across the state are unhappy with this strategy because they believe it will benefit Obama’s campaign for president. While Virginia’s law states convicted felons lose all voting rights for their entire lives, there are loopholes that allow the state governor to overturn the rule if the felon makes the request. However, they must have a clean record three to five years following their release from prison. Governor Kaine, who is a Democrat, has guaranteed a review of all ex-felons who apply for voting rights, hoping to strengthen the number of Obama supports in Virginia.

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Singer Amy Winehouse is known for her various addictions, the most fatal of them all being crack, but it has reached a new, life-threatening low. Winehouse was diagnosed with emphysema according to the UK Mirror, and her doctors warned her that she will die if she does not stop abusing drugs, especially crack. She was rushed to the hospital this week and after running tests, they reported that she will need a wheelchair if she does not end her addiction.

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Ongoing debates about the images of women in media sparked quite a few active responses. Organizations and publications are finding different ways to inform women and give them the tools to make more informed decisions that preserve what they believe to be their dignity. Rolling Out magazine just held an entrepreneurial seminar this weekend at the Brooklyn Academy of Music with a panel of guest speakers offering advice to budding businesswomen. On June 28th at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City, Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN) will be also holding a panel featuring guest speakers, experts, and celebrities who are will willing to share their opinions about what women are encountering today. There will also be an upcoming conference of the same nature in the Los Angeles area later in the summer. Both programs are of no cost to those who attend.

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In a follow up to his successful documentary When the Levees Broke, veteran filmmaker Spike Lee is considering a follow up film about the New Orleans region affected by Hurricane Katrina. Lee appeared at the AF1/Discovery Channel documentary fest known as Siliverdocs, and it was there that he announced his potential plan to revisit New Orleans. The Hollywood Reporter stated his main goal in going back is to cover events and issues neglected by the popular press. Many remaining residents are suffering from severe mental illnesses from the Hurricane. Lee also hinted a possible scripted work about New Orleans that would show the Hurricane’s aftermath and The Wire’s creator David Simon was mentioned as Lee’s first choice for the possible film.

BY: Paul Steven


Dating can be great fun – you meet new people, have a laugh, enjoy a few dinner dates and try to forget about the dates from hell in the hope of finding your perfect match. But what happens when you get set up by a friend? Whenever you accept a blind date that’s set up by a friend, you face real problems if it doesn’t go well.

Dating, blind date style, can be pretty relaxed because you have the people you know in common and do have a little prior knowledge of what each other is like. The only, and major, problem with that is the fact that your friends will undoubtedly get it wrong. If they do get it wrong then it could possibly lead to strained relations between you and your friends.

The best possible thing to bear in mind when navigating the dating scene via a friend is that you should be wary about accepting dates that way. Insist on meeting them at a party or in a group so you can make up your own mind. This is much better than offending the friend if the date is awful. You reclaim the power over your dating life and keep everyone happy!

If your friend or friends persistently try matching you up and it is increasingly making you feel uncomfortable then explain that as much as you appreciate their attempts of helping you find love you would prefer them backing off for a bit. This is important because you don’t want to feel pressured and it return their good attempts at hooking you up may backfire.

Dating through friends is like everything else in life, you have good and bad moments. If the bad moments are by far outweighing the good then it might be time to call an end to having your friends set-up your dating needs before you run out of friends.

BY: Janet Martin

If there is one thing that man has not yet fully tapped to his advantage, it is the mind. Even before the time of Gautama Buddha, the mind was already believed to be a great source of power. Despite technological advancements, however, people still have not yet unlocked the secrets of the human mind.

A lot of great thinkers believe that what you put inside your mind can influence how you live your life. The same is true when it comes to your health and weight. Your perception and attitude toward how much you weigh and how you look can influence the way you look in person. If you want to lose weight and be fit, it would be better if you first start by tapping the power of your mind to help you achieve your goals. Here are the steps that can aid you in thinking yourself to become thin.

Step One: Empty Your Mind Of Negative Thoughts

A lot of people have encountered failure not only in being thin but also in other aspects of their lives because they pollute their minds with negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are poisons that make you believe that you cannot do anything and are incapable of succeeding.

If you want to lose weight, you first need to believe that you can achieve it. No amount of dieting and exercising can make you permanently slender and fit if at the back of your mind you believe that you cannot stick to your diet or your exercise regimen. Remember that if there is one person who should believe in your abilities it is you.

Step Two: Start Some Reprogramming

Once you have cleared your mind of the negative thoughts, it is now ready to accept whatever you tell it to believe. Experts say that your brain is like a sponge, so it can take in whatever you feed it. The only reason why you can’t teach old dogs new tricks is because old dogs tend to be stubborn. However, if you remain open minded, no matter what your age is, you will still be able to learn new things and alter your perception.

If your goal is to be thin, you need to make an effort in picturing yourself as someone who is healthy and slender. This may be difficult at first, but eventually, if you put all your energy into it, it would be easy for you to conjure up an image of yourself that is 20, 30 or even 100 pounds lighter.

If you were once thin and you have a picture of yourself that is thin and slender, it would be wise to put it inside your wallet or use it as your computer’s wallpaper so that you can be reminded of what you are trying to achieve. Thus, every time you think of eating unhealthy food or skipping your gym sessions, just opening your wallet or seeing your computer screen will remind you of what you want to be and prevent you from doing unhealthy stuff. In no time, eating healthy and going to the gym will become natural to you even if you don’t look at pictures when you were thin.

Step Three: Just Believe

Faith, regardless of what you believe in, can truly move mountains. The miracles that are happening everyday all around you is not something that is supernatural. This is created by the power of faith and believing. Once you believe in yourself, you will be able to achieve even the hardest feats, which include regaining the body of your youth.

Janet Martin is an avid health and fitness enthusiast and published author.

BY: Ruben Gonzalez

Why do some people pursue their dreams while others bury their dreams?

It comes down to belief and desire. Whether you believe it’s possible, whether you believe YOU can do it, and whether you want the dream enough to do whatever it takes.

Let’s say you believe it’s possible and you think there’s a good chance you can pull it off now, what steps do you need to take to make it happen?

Step number one is the willingness to take the risk. Many people are able but few are willing. You see, you always have to give something up in order to get something better. Most people are not willing to give anything up. They are not willing to make any sacrifices. They expect success to just fall on their lap.

That’s just not how life works. There’s no free lunch. Not only do you have to be willing to go for it, but you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Let’s break that last sentence down.

You have to be willing. Willing means that you are open minded. Open minded means you are not judgmental. It means not making any excuses. It means you are open to doing whatever might be required.

Whatever it takes is a level of commitment. Being committed means you have made a decision that you will continue to pursue your goal no matter what the consequences.

When you have a clear objective and are committed, you’ll naturally start doing the things that will move you towards your objective, and you’ll naturally stop doing the things that move you away from your objective.

When you have a dream you are willing to fight for, the process takes care of itself.

Whatever it takes is not just a level of commitment. It’s a HIGH level of commitment. And, believe it or not, it’s the lowest level of commitment that will guarantee that you will realize your dream.

Let me explain. If reaching your dream, whether it be to become financially free, or to buy a new car, or to be able to take your family to Disneyland for two weeks, or to get your PhD no matter what your dream is, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Here’s why. If realizing your dream involves 64 items, 64 things you have to do, you have to be willing to do all 64 of them. If you’re only willing to do 63 of them, but not #64, then #64 will be your undoing and you can kiss your dream goodbye.

It’s an attitude thing.

Life will seldom ask you to do all 64 things. But you don’t know which ones you’ll have to do, so you better be willing to do all 64. The whatever it takes attitude will help you do the required items so well that success will be assured.

The trick is to be willing to do whatever it takes with no guarantees of success. Only then is success possible.



Ruben Gonzalez is the author of the critically acclaimed book, The Courage to Succeed. His experiences as a three-time Olympian, businessman, and professional keynote speaker give him a unique perspective on how to conquer the corporate struggles of today.

BY: Lisa Angeletti

There is a frightening trend going on in many of the marriages and serious relationships of today — no sex. I know you’ve heard all the cliches. Especially the one about couples not having sex after they get married. But really…what they should say is that the sex can truly diminish after having children and being consumed with the stressors of raising them, feeding them, and schooling them!

I mean who really has the energy or the gumption to look sexy, feel sexy, and better yet have sex! Children are a lot of work. Hey, life is a lot of work. Is this why our mothers were so irritable when we were little?

Well, if you want to live in reality - eventually you have to address this lack-of-sex subject in your marriage. Married folks have sex, and should enjoy it, and hopefully desire it on at least a semi-regular basis. We need it.

So why are so many of us not handling this subject like we would our finances, our careers, our children? Why are we avoiding it? Well, because even in today’s modern society, sex is still a very uncomfortable subject for us to discuss with our children, our friends, and our spouses.

It’s strange isn’t it? We love a good romance novel, or romantic comedy movie. So why aren’t we talking? Well, in many cases we feel that we are the source of the problem, but we are confused or frightened to admit it and deal with it.

If this sounds like you and your marriage there may be a few concrete ways you can address what has to be a very difficult and painful topic for you and your spouse. Let’s get back to intimacy.

First - if you have a diminished desire for sex, go see your physician and check yourself out. Hormone levels fluctuate. Having children can throw you out of wack. Make sure it isn’t a physical problem.

Also, there are some women who have always experienced uncomfortable or even painful sex during intercourse but never addressed it. Perhaps you think that certain positions are just not meant for you, but it may be that you have a physical problem that has a solution. Simply stated - if you can’t get aroused or are uncomfortable, even after a round of foreplay, there may be something physical going on. Check it out with your gynecologist.

Second - If you check out okay, and there is nothing physically wrong with your partner, then you can assume that the problem is probably something mental/emotional in nature.

Are you tired? Mentally tired? Tired of him? Is he still attractive to you or is he just a warm body? Do you feel unattractive? Do you think he feels you are unattractive? Have either of you cheated in the past - and know about it? Is sex boring–A ritualistic rut?

It’s a huge myth that sex is not an important part of a relationship. Physical intimacy with your partner is very important for the health of your relationship.

If you are dating, you SHOULD be sexually attracted to the person. If you are not, you may face serious problems in the future.:)

If you are married, sex may not feel like it did the first time with him, but it should be satisfying and desired by both of you. Low feelings of desire?

1. Pinpoint your sources of stress. Write them down. Number them. Get a list. What is causing you the most stress? Finances? Intimacy? Children? Illness? Family?

2. Now sort them in their order of importance. The last item on the list you should be able to eliminate this week. For example, if your kids are stressing you out. Hire a babysitter; go out on a date with your mate, and at the end of the evening try to initiate intimacy.

3. Continue to work on whittling down your list while you keep up with your date nights etc.

4. Find things to reduce your overall stress levels. Activities such as reading a book, yoga, walking/running, taking up an old hobby, dancing to your favorite music on your ipod, etc.

Reducing your overall stress is a great way to promote relaxation during times of intimacy. Sometimes we put great amounts of performance pressure on ourselves and inadvertently sabotage our performance. Plus happy people have more sex! Well, I’m not sure about that statistically but it makes sense right?

Lisa Angelettie, “GirlShrink” is a psychotherapist, relationship coach, author, and online advice authority. Visit her at www.GirlShrink.com and learn about her exciting Relationship 911! Program - http://www.girlshrink.com/911intro.html.