BY: Nikki Ransom
Many women consider domestic violence as only physical abuse, but it encompasses so much more than just hitting or shoving. In the next few paragraphs, I would like to point out some of the many overlooked types of domestic violence as well as the three phases of domestic abuse.
One form of abuse is called economic or financial abuse. This type of abuse occurs when the abuser withholds money, steals money or valuables from a partner, prevents their partner from working, or withholds basic resources such as food and clothing. Another very common type of abuse is verbal or emotional that can often be more destructive to the victim than actual physical abuse. This includes the threats and intimidation, blaming the victim for the abuser’s problems, excessive possessiveness, destruction of the victim’s personal property, name-calling, telling the victim they are worthless on their own, making the victim feel that there is no way out of the relationship, and much, much more.
Some abusers actually feel that it is impossible to sexually abuse one’s spouse or partner due to their feeling of “ownership” but this couldn’t be furthest from the truth. Forcing your mate to participate in unwanted sexual activity is also a form of abuse. In severe cases of sexual abuse, the abuser may even make his partner have sex with other people. The most devastating and most talked about form of domestic violence is the physical. Physical abuse includes pushing, slapping, punching, choking, confining, burning, and can even end in murder. It seems like almost everyday on the local news, we are seeing another woman murdered by her husband or boyfriend. The warning signs that you may be trouble often begin with verbal abuse and usually will escalate to physical violence. This is why it is so important to recognize the signs early on before it is too late.
Domestic Violence usually happens in a three-phase cycle. The first is the Tension Building phase where the anger in the abuser grows. You feel as though you are walking on eggshells and doing your best to keep your abuser happy and pleased with you. Second is the Battering phase that consists of the actual acts of violence, forced sex, psychological abuse, and/or withholding of basic needs. The last phase of the cycle is the Honeymoon phase where the abuser apologizes, promises to never hurt you again and that s/he will get help for his problems. The abuser becomes very sweet and romantic during this phase so you will stay in the relationship. The abuser can be so charming that you can begin to doubt your own judgment and think “maybe it isn’t as bad as I think it is” and then you stay in this potentially deadly situation. This is just a way that an abuser gains control over the spouse or partner.
The effects of domestic violence can be devastating; the abused can develop anxiety disorders, insomnia, depression and anger issues, and even substance abuse problems as a way of coping with what has happened to them. If you feel that you are in this kind of relationship, please trust that you are not alone and reach out for help. Tell a loved one what is going on and seek assistance with your local Domestic Violence Helpline, please.
Stay Tuned For Part 3 Next Week
Sources:
http://www.choicesdvcols.org/whatis.php
http://www.aaets.org/article144.htm
Many women consider domestic violence as only physical abuse, but it encompasses so much more than just hitting or shoving. In the next few paragraphs, I would like to point out some of the many overlooked types of domestic violence as well as the three phases of domestic abuse.
One form of abuse is called economic or financial abuse. This type of abuse occurs when the abuser withholds money, steals money or valuables from a partner, prevents their partner from working, or withholds basic resources such as food and clothing. Another very common type of abuse is verbal or emotional that can often be more destructive to the victim than actual physical abuse. This includes the threats and intimidation, blaming the victim for the abuser’s problems, excessive possessiveness, destruction of the victim’s personal property, name-calling, telling the victim they are worthless on their own, making the victim feel that there is no way out of the relationship, and much, much more.Some abusers actually feel that it is impossible to sexually abuse one’s spouse or partner due to their feeling of “ownership” but this couldn’t be furthest from the truth. Forcing your mate to participate in unwanted sexual activity is also a form of abuse. In severe cases of sexual abuse, the abuser may even make his partner have sex with other people. The most devastating and most talked about form of domestic violence is the physical. Physical abuse includes pushing, slapping, punching, choking, confining, burning, and can even end in murder. It seems like almost everyday on the local news, we are seeing another woman murdered by her husband or boyfriend. The warning signs that you may be trouble often begin with verbal abuse and usually will escalate to physical violence. This is why it is so important to recognize the signs early on before it is too late.
Domestic Violence usually happens in a three-phase cycle. The first is the Tension Building phase where the anger in the abuser grows. You feel as though you are walking on eggshells and doing your best to keep your abuser happy and pleased with you. Second is the Battering phase that consists of the actual acts of violence, forced sex, psychological abuse, and/or withholding of basic needs. The last phase of the cycle is the Honeymoon phase where the abuser apologizes, promises to never hurt you again and that s/he will get help for his problems. The abuser becomes very sweet and romantic during this phase so you will stay in the relationship. The abuser can be so charming that you can begin to doubt your own judgment and think “maybe it isn’t as bad as I think it is” and then you stay in this potentially deadly situation. This is just a way that an abuser gains control over the spouse or partner.
The effects of domestic violence can be devastating; the abused can develop anxiety disorders, insomnia, depression and anger issues, and even substance abuse problems as a way of coping with what has happened to them. If you feel that you are in this kind of relationship, please trust that you are not alone and reach out for help. Tell a loved one what is going on and seek assistance with your local Domestic Violence Helpline, please.
Stay Tuned For Part 3 Next Week
Sources:
http://www.choicesdvcols.org/whatis.php
http://www.aaets.org/article144.htm
