By: Nikki Ransom
This may be the most important part of this series because I will be speaking directly to the women out there that find themselves “trapped” in a domestic violence relationship. Do not minimize your abuse if it is just emotional or verbal and not physical, it is all abuse and still just as harmful.
The first step is to find that strength inside you and know that you do not deserve to be treated as anything less than the queen that you are. Since your abuser is obviously not willing to treat you with the respect you deserve, it is time for you to go. This may be the most agonizing decision you have ever made but realize that by staying in an abusive situation you are putting your life in danger. Next, you will want to check for local resources that will help assist you in getting away from your abuser. A great way is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They are available 24 hours a day and can connect you to your local service providers as well as assist in crisis intervention, safety planning, and much more. You can get more information on The National Domestic Violence Hotline by going to www.ndvh.org. (Definitely make sure that you are on a computer that you know is safe and not being monitored by your abuser.
The fundamental aspect to leaving this type of relationship is having a Safety Plan. Creating a Safety Plan is an intense process and encompasses so much information that it may be best to receive that information from the NDVH or your local domestic violence resource center directly. There is much to assess and information for you to gather in preparation to improve your situation. Included in your Safety Plan would be gathering important documents such as your driver’s license, social security cards, and birth certificates for you and your children and hiding them in a place you can get to when you take that giant leap to independence. You will also want to decide where you will go once you leave. A friend or family member’s home may be the easiest but if your abuser knows where they live, he may come looking for you. You can receive details on building your Safety Plan with a Domestic Violence Advocate. She or he will go over a plan best suited for your needs step by step in order to try and ensure a safe getaway for you.
After you have left your abuser, there is still much work to be done. There is an underlying reason that you stayed with a man that hurt you and the only way to find that reason and also heal from what has happened to you is to seek counseling. Your advocate will point you in the right direction of a counselor, whom you may speak to about your feelings. Many counselors may even offer these services at little or no cost. There are also dozens of support groups that meet weekly in your area that you should attend to hear the voices of other women that have gone through the same situation that you have. Domestic Violence can leave a woman feeling very isolated so it will help tremendously to hear that you are in fact not alone. Please take the warnings to heart in this series and begin the necessary steps to your freedom.
This may be the most important part of this series because I will be speaking directly to the women out there that find themselves “trapped” in a domestic violence relationship. Do not minimize your abuse if it is just emotional or verbal and not physical, it is all abuse and still just as harmful.The first step is to find that strength inside you and know that you do not deserve to be treated as anything less than the queen that you are. Since your abuser is obviously not willing to treat you with the respect you deserve, it is time for you to go. This may be the most agonizing decision you have ever made but realize that by staying in an abusive situation you are putting your life in danger. Next, you will want to check for local resources that will help assist you in getting away from your abuser. A great way is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They are available 24 hours a day and can connect you to your local service providers as well as assist in crisis intervention, safety planning, and much more. You can get more information on The National Domestic Violence Hotline by going to www.ndvh.org. (Definitely make sure that you are on a computer that you know is safe and not being monitored by your abuser.
The fundamental aspect to leaving this type of relationship is having a Safety Plan. Creating a Safety Plan is an intense process and encompasses so much information that it may be best to receive that information from the NDVH or your local domestic violence resource center directly. There is much to assess and information for you to gather in preparation to improve your situation. Included in your Safety Plan would be gathering important documents such as your driver’s license, social security cards, and birth certificates for you and your children and hiding them in a place you can get to when you take that giant leap to independence. You will also want to decide where you will go once you leave. A friend or family member’s home may be the easiest but if your abuser knows where they live, he may come looking for you. You can receive details on building your Safety Plan with a Domestic Violence Advocate. She or he will go over a plan best suited for your needs step by step in order to try and ensure a safe getaway for you.
After you have left your abuser, there is still much work to be done. There is an underlying reason that you stayed with a man that hurt you and the only way to find that reason and also heal from what has happened to you is to seek counseling. Your advocate will point you in the right direction of a counselor, whom you may speak to about your feelings. Many counselors may even offer these services at little or no cost. There are also dozens of support groups that meet weekly in your area that you should attend to hear the voices of other women that have gone through the same situation that you have. Domestic Violence can leave a woman feeling very isolated so it will help tremendously to hear that you are in fact not alone. Please take the warnings to heart in this series and begin the necessary steps to your freedom.
