__________________________________________________________________________________________
Note to Self: See Memo Attached
MEMORANDUM
To: Self
From: Self
RE: Love of Self
Date: May 2008
Dear Sister Self,
I’ve been watching you in the mirror these last few months, and I have to say that I am becoming increasingly alarmed. They say that the only thing consistent in life is change, and you my dear, are clearly no exception. I notice how much time and care you take to admire yourself these days. And not with those narrowed, critical and judgmental eyes I’m used to, but instead with wide, adoring pools that absorb, accept, and appreciate. It’s not in the way of vanity, either – motivated by a desire to impress others, or to seek outward approval. No, this is something new entirely, and I must admit that it’s a good look on you. Your eyes caress your image now, you speak softly to it, and you regard it with a certain tenderness. This daily adoration has resulted in a warm, euphoric glow that surrounds you all day long. It’s infectious, really. And beyond the visual evidence, there is your laughter, which seems to resonate now. It trills more heartily, bellows more deeply – as if coming from your very soul! My ears have barely adjusted to the cacophony. I’m still so used to the tightly-wound, timid, and forced giggles you used to manage back in the day. Your mind was so heavy and preoccupied then, that even your laughter was complicated. But check you out now, girl: free as a bird and light as a feather!
A. Change is a Process.
I have tried to pinpoint the moment when your metamorphosis began and my guess is that it all started with your most recent quest for spirituality. Your soul had always thirsted for answers and for comfort, but you would allow your mind and your reasoning to fill in the gaps. You were not courageous enough to rest solely upon your heart, a fixture you regarded as weak and frequently misguided. All of this changed last fall though when you received some news that finally woke you up. With this news came realization that you could never be the same. You became painfully and acutely aware of your own mortality. And in that moment, this little life of yours went from burdensome to precious. You sought Love, in its highest form, and began to seek out its Guiding Light with fervor, passion, and conviction. Amazingly transformative, this Light spoke to you in words of loving Truth and finally, you gave these words access to imprint on your heart.
Certainly, for you, this metamorphosis has only just begun. You still have many more truths to discover and to believe in, and many more lies to banish and to forsake. Your former life script was riddled with negative rules and ideologies that called themselves “truth,” and you are basically rewriting its pages; beginning again, at a time when you thought you’d be finishing. You chuckle at the notion of “finishing” now – you know that this rewrite is a lifetime in the making and that life’s gems reside within the process itself and not within the completion thereof. You happily concede with Erykah now when she sings that “the man who knows something knows that he knows nothing at all.” I marvel to think that your encounters with Wisdom have sparked, instead of pride, a greater sense of humility within you!
B. Your Company Is a Reflection of your Condition.
The transformative Light you now seek informs all of your choices and Girl, I’ve noticed the difference. You speak up now. You stand up now. And you are choosy about those whom you allow into your life. There was once a time when your fear of being alone rendered you a needy people-pleaser. Any company was good company, because it meant a moment you did not have to endure with your own self. It was a defeating attitude that led you to suffer many fools, i.e., folks who did not have your best interests at heart: those who used you; those who put you down; those who sought to dim your light so that theirs could shine. You willingly shrunk yourself to enlarge others. Your indiscriminate desire for companionship led you to the draining, the demanding, the derisive, and the divisive company of those who called themselves friends and lovers. It really was sad.
Today, though, Truth has infused you with a greater ease, peace and comfort in your own presence. You enjoy dwelling there, you relish the quiet moments, and honor the privilege of your own space. The company of others is still a desire but no longer is it a necessity. You do not give yourself away as though you were a common and everyday because you are no freebie … You are also not for sale. You understand that time spent with you is a privilege, one that the people in your life should respect and appreciate. As a result, your choice in friends and in men has drastically changed. You seek the company of those who inspire, enlighten and encourage; and you offer each of these in return. You seek out those who laugh, listen, and love; and again, you offer each of these in return. You seek those who want to understand you, not those who want to judge you, label you, and stash you in the appropriate Tupperware container. You are so much more than this! You are so much more than a label, a definition, an anecdote or an amusing story for cocktail conversation.. You are a living, breathing, ever-changing, always growing work-in-progress. You cannot be boxed! You cannot be summed up in a short monologue. Your complexities are too vast and your subtleties too nuanced, for the naked, superficial eye. There is a wealth of depth residing within you (coursing through each vein!) that only the most dedicated and adventurous of souls is entitled to. You realize that, and as a result, you choose your company wisely now.
C. You Don’t Have to Run After Love When It Resides Within You.
I know there was a time, Dear Soul, when you did not believe that such progress was possible. All you saw were your flaws, all you heard were your drawbacks, all you felt was your imperfection. But Love is changing all of that now and the results are being seen and felt. You always knew about love, and were aware of its miraculous power to heal and to transform. But you searched for it in inappropriate places. You were trying to squeeze it, prod it, and force it from sources that had long since dried up. In rare moments when you believed you had found it, to your shock and dismay, it would all suddenly give way — incapable of withstanding the pressures of life and circumstance. You were running after the imposter, completely oblivious to the presence and existence of the Real Thing.
Today, however, your Love-Source possesses a spiritual origin. And by making it the central focus and nucleus of your life, you have finally been given access to an exponential reserve of joy, contentment, and self-understanding. It is not an easy journey, but it is certainly a better one. There are still uncertainties, but no longer is the path itself uncertain. You are finally travelling the appropriate road, and there is a comfort in knowing that its destination will be tailor-made for you, as well.
D. Closing Remarks.
I am so impressed with the woman you are becoming and awed each time our eyes meet in the bathroom mirror. With the advent of this newly found Love, life has transformed itself — from a laborious and arduous journey, to a storybook adventure replete with excitement, mystery and suspense. Similar to a well-written novel, it will be impossible to predict the ending; but who really wants to know the answers in advance? No true sleuth would ever make that her choice. Based upon the quality of the writing, however, I can say, with conviction, that the ending definitely will not disappoint.
I love you, Girl.
Karen J. Francis is a writer and optimist living in New York City. Committed to the promotion of a postive self-image among women, she is an active member of WEEN (The Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network, www.weenonline.org). She is also a practicing attorney with a focus in entertainment and intellectual property law.
Note to Self: See Memo Attached
MEMORANDUM
To: Self
From: Self
RE: Love of Self
Date: May 2008
Dear Sister Self,
I’ve been watching you in the mirror these last few months, and I have to say that I am becoming increasingly alarmed. They say that the only thing consistent in life is change, and you my dear, are clearly no exception. I notice how much time and care you take to admire yourself these days. And not with those narrowed, critical and judgmental eyes I’m used to, but instead with wide, adoring pools that absorb, accept, and appreciate. It’s not in the way of vanity, either – motivated by a desire to impress others, or to seek outward approval. No, this is something new entirely, and I must admit that it’s a good look on you. Your eyes caress your image now, you speak softly to it, and you regard it with a certain tenderness. This daily adoration has resulted in a warm, euphoric glow that surrounds you all day long. It’s infectious, really. And beyond the visual evidence, there is your laughter, which seems to resonate now. It trills more heartily, bellows more deeply – as if coming from your very soul! My ears have barely adjusted to the cacophony. I’m still so used to the tightly-wound, timid, and forced giggles you used to manage back in the day. Your mind was so heavy and preoccupied then, that even your laughter was complicated. But check you out now, girl: free as a bird and light as a feather!
A. Change is a Process.
I have tried to pinpoint the moment when your metamorphosis began and my guess is that it all started with your most recent quest for spirituality. Your soul had always thirsted for answers and for comfort, but you would allow your mind and your reasoning to fill in the gaps. You were not courageous enough to rest solely upon your heart, a fixture you regarded as weak and frequently misguided. All of this changed last fall though when you received some news that finally woke you up. With this news came realization that you could never be the same. You became painfully and acutely aware of your own mortality. And in that moment, this little life of yours went from burdensome to precious. You sought Love, in its highest form, and began to seek out its Guiding Light with fervor, passion, and conviction. Amazingly transformative, this Light spoke to you in words of loving Truth and finally, you gave these words access to imprint on your heart.
Certainly, for you, this metamorphosis has only just begun. You still have many more truths to discover and to believe in, and many more lies to banish and to forsake. Your former life script was riddled with negative rules and ideologies that called themselves “truth,” and you are basically rewriting its pages; beginning again, at a time when you thought you’d be finishing. You chuckle at the notion of “finishing” now – you know that this rewrite is a lifetime in the making and that life’s gems reside within the process itself and not within the completion thereof. You happily concede with Erykah now when she sings that “the man who knows something knows that he knows nothing at all.” I marvel to think that your encounters with Wisdom have sparked, instead of pride, a greater sense of humility within you!
B. Your Company Is a Reflection of your Condition.
The transformative Light you now seek informs all of your choices and Girl, I’ve noticed the difference. You speak up now. You stand up now. And you are choosy about those whom you allow into your life. There was once a time when your fear of being alone rendered you a needy people-pleaser. Any company was good company, because it meant a moment you did not have to endure with your own self. It was a defeating attitude that led you to suffer many fools, i.e., folks who did not have your best interests at heart: those who used you; those who put you down; those who sought to dim your light so that theirs could shine. You willingly shrunk yourself to enlarge others. Your indiscriminate desire for companionship led you to the draining, the demanding, the derisive, and the divisive company of those who called themselves friends and lovers. It really was sad.
Today, though, Truth has infused you with a greater ease, peace and comfort in your own presence. You enjoy dwelling there, you relish the quiet moments, and honor the privilege of your own space. The company of others is still a desire but no longer is it a necessity. You do not give yourself away as though you were a common and everyday because you are no freebie … You are also not for sale. You understand that time spent with you is a privilege, one that the people in your life should respect and appreciate. As a result, your choice in friends and in men has drastically changed. You seek the company of those who inspire, enlighten and encourage; and you offer each of these in return. You seek out those who laugh, listen, and love; and again, you offer each of these in return. You seek those who want to understand you, not those who want to judge you, label you, and stash you in the appropriate Tupperware container. You are so much more than this! You are so much more than a label, a definition, an anecdote or an amusing story for cocktail conversation.. You are a living, breathing, ever-changing, always growing work-in-progress. You cannot be boxed! You cannot be summed up in a short monologue. Your complexities are too vast and your subtleties too nuanced, for the naked, superficial eye. There is a wealth of depth residing within you (coursing through each vein!) that only the most dedicated and adventurous of souls is entitled to. You realize that, and as a result, you choose your company wisely now.
C. You Don’t Have to Run After Love When It Resides Within You.
I know there was a time, Dear Soul, when you did not believe that such progress was possible. All you saw were your flaws, all you heard were your drawbacks, all you felt was your imperfection. But Love is changing all of that now and the results are being seen and felt. You always knew about love, and were aware of its miraculous power to heal and to transform. But you searched for it in inappropriate places. You were trying to squeeze it, prod it, and force it from sources that had long since dried up. In rare moments when you believed you had found it, to your shock and dismay, it would all suddenly give way — incapable of withstanding the pressures of life and circumstance. You were running after the imposter, completely oblivious to the presence and existence of the Real Thing.
Today, however, your Love-Source possesses a spiritual origin. And by making it the central focus and nucleus of your life, you have finally been given access to an exponential reserve of joy, contentment, and self-understanding. It is not an easy journey, but it is certainly a better one. There are still uncertainties, but no longer is the path itself uncertain. You are finally travelling the appropriate road, and there is a comfort in knowing that its destination will be tailor-made for you, as well.
D. Closing Remarks.
I am so impressed with the woman you are becoming and awed each time our eyes meet in the bathroom mirror. With the advent of this newly found Love, life has transformed itself — from a laborious and arduous journey, to a storybook adventure replete with excitement, mystery and suspense. Similar to a well-written novel, it will be impossible to predict the ending; but who really wants to know the answers in advance? No true sleuth would ever make that her choice. Based upon the quality of the writing, however, I can say, with conviction, that the ending definitely will not disappoint.
I love you, Girl.
Karen J. Francis is a writer and optimist living in New York City. Committed to the promotion of a postive self-image among women, she is an active member of WEEN (The Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network, www.weenonline.org). She is also a practicing attorney with a focus in entertainment and intellectual property law.
