BY: Cindy Swiantek

Everyone has dreams, but all too often they let these dreams fall to the wayside and end up wondering years later whatever happened to all of the dreams that they had when they were younger. This doesn’t have to be the case, however; it’s possible to not only hold on to your dreams but also to make them come true by letting them influence your life and your career choices. Instead of simply saying that they’re nothing more than dreams, you can make a conscious decision to embrace those dreams and see them through to the end. Not only will you get to see your dreams become real, but you will find that by letting them influence the work that you do and the direction that your life takes you will be much more satisfied with your life’s work in general.

Recognizing Your Dreams
In order to live your dreams and let them lead you to your dream career, you will first need to realize exactly what your dreams are. Take some time to consider the things that you want and what you would like to see come to pass in your life; these aren’t the fanciful obsessions that you might get from time to time that will pass in a matter of days or weeks, but are instead the lifelong ambitions that you’ve held on to ever since you were introduced to the concept. Look into your heart, see what’s really important to you and what you would like most of all to see happen in your life, and that is where you will find your dreams.

Relating Your Dreams to Your Work
When you start seriously thinking about your dreams and comparing them to your life as it is right now, you might wonder how you’re ever going to be able to reach your dreams from the place that you are in life. Look at your job and the things that you do, and try and imagine what it would take in order to reach your dreams from this starting point. For some people this might be easy, and you might have been living out portions of your dreams without even realizing it for quite some time. You may notice that your volunteer work is what you love.

For others this could be a rather difficult task, however, since they may have taken the job that was needed at the time and then never really got a chance to start working toward their dreams again. Consider where in your career you are, and whether it’s possible to get where you want to be within that same career path. If it’s not, then you should start researching different career options until you find the one that will take you to your dreams and help you make them come true.

Using Your Work to Follow Your Dreams
When you can see yourself reaching your dreams from the career that you have, then it’s time to start putting your energy into following your career path to the point where you can reach your dreams. Set goals for yourself and for your career, and keep trying after every setback until those goals are reached. It might not always be easy, but once you have the career that’s right for you making it to your dreams will seem to be a natural progression.

Cindy Swiantek has provided coaching and instruction for several hundred professionals, assisting them in planning and executing successful career transition. She brings her own experiences from personally making the transition from employee to executive in the automotive industry. Her passion for assisting others is contagious!

BY: Chaz Kyser
When you are overcome with self-doubt and the fear of failure you can become a barrier to your success. That frustrated voice inside your head that tells you the goals you’re working towards can’t be accomplished, and you’re not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, talented enough, or man or woman enough to accomplish them anyway, can be more detrimental to your livelihood than racism, sexism and ageism combined. Feelings of self-doubt and the fear of failure aren’t foreign to anyone. These two cousins of discouragement strike people at various points in their lives, usually when there is something they’re hoping to achieve. These negative feelings are what kept many of your high school classmates from going to college. They caused some of the people who entered college with you to drop out. Self-doubt and the fear of failure even managed to keep students who stayed in college from majoring in what they wanted to because they felt the classes would be too hard for them. What have the spirits of self-doubt and the fear of failure kept you from accomplishing thus far? If you’re not careful, you can sabotage your career by letting self-doubt and the fear of failure take control of your mind. They’re sneaky and always waiting for an opportunity to do you harm. It doesn’t matter whether the opportunity is big or small. Self-doubt and the fear of failure will keep you from applying for a position because it may be too difficult. Self-doubt and the fear of failure will stop you from trying to move up in a company because you might not fit in with management. If you allow them to, self-doubt and the fear of failure will talk you out of pursuing the career you dreamed of since you were a child because of your skin color and gender. They’ll come up with a thousand reasons on why you can’t and shouldn’t attempt something to further your career as they destroy it in the process. Their scheming never stops. So while opportunity after opportunity may knock at your door, you may never hear it because self-doubt and the fear of failure are clogging your ears with nonsense. If the spirits of self-doubt and the fear of failure are working in your life it’s time they found another home. The belief that you can do anything you set your mind to is not a pipe dream. The belief that everyone else is capable of living out their dreams is. Ridding yourself these faceless barriers is not an easy task, but it can be done. Once you’re able to release yourself from their grasp it becomes easier to keep them from interfering in your life again. Casting Self-Doubt & the Fear of Failure Out of Your Life Step 1: Acknowledge that self-doubt & the fear of failure are sabotaging you: Self-doubt and the fear of failure are powerful because we deny they exist. We don’t want to believe that sometimes we’re the only ones holding ourselves back. It’s much easier for us to place blame on others. After we’ve run out of scapegoats we make up lame excuses to explain why we can’t do this and that. When you acknowledge that you may be working against yourself you’re able to start working for yourself. Step 2: Write down what self-doubt & the fear of failure have kept you from doing: Did you not take a class you know you needed because you thought it was too hard? Write it down. Did you not attend a more challenging school because you thought you wouldn’t be able to compete with the students there? Write it down. Did you not run for office in an organization because you were afraid you’d look bad if you lost? Write it down. You will be amazed at all the dreams you’ve abandoned while plagued with self-doubt and the fear of failure. Step 3: Write down what your reasons were for not doing what you wanted: Right under each of your abandoned goals or actions write down why you chose not to pursue them. You may find that what once seemed like good reasons for your inaction now appears unimportant and silly. Now imagine what your life would be like had you done what your heart wanted. Imagine the path you’d be walking on. It’s probably the one you wish you were walking on now. Step 4: Begin speaking positive things into existence: You are smart, you are attractive, you are creative, you are talented. You are worthy of a career twice as successful as you hope it will be, and it can be yours. What are you talking about? It will be yours! Start replacing the put-downs you feed yourself with words of encouragement and praise. Talk about what you can achieve and why you’re capable of achieving that and more. If you’re not feeling that, then you’ll have to fake it until you make it. When you wake up in the morning thank God for not giving you a spirit of self-doubt or the fear and then count your accomplishments one-by-one. After that, say aloud the goals you’ve made for your career and the qualities you have that will help you achieve them. Step 5: Begin looking at opportunities in a new light: Once you’ve cut self-doubt and the fear of failure loose you may begin to see opportunities in a new light. What seemed risky may now appear exciting. What appeared too challenging may interest you now because you want to be challenged. You can now sift through all the plans you put in storage, or the garbage, and see which ones can still give your career the boost it needs. You’ll find that the potential you have in your career and in life is enormous if you just take advantage of it. Chaz Kyser is the author of “Embracing the Real World: The Black Woman’s Guide to Life After College” ($14.99, Seshet Press). Purchase the book online at www.embracingtherealworld.com. Send comments about this article to column@embracingtherealworld.com.

By: Alecia D.

If you’ve ever wondered what ultra successful women like Robin Wilson (www.robinwilsonhome.com), Tyra Banks (www.tyrabanks.com), and Michelle Obama have that you don’t- you’ve already proven that your thought process is a bit shifty. The good news, however, is that it’s easy to get back on track. If you sat down and spoke to any one of these women about their thoughts on success and the journey they embarked in order to get where they are, they would probably all tell you very similar things. Although they are each successful in different arenas, have different backgrounds, and influence different types of people, one common thread is that these women, and all successful women for that matter, think they can be and do whatever it is they want. Michelle Obama was recently asked by Larry King if she was ready to be the First Black First Lady of the U.S.- her response was simple “I’m ready”. She went on to further describe her habit of not giving power to negative thoughts. It is obvious to me that Michelle must know that attitude determines altitude. It is impossible to realize the highest heights of success if you doubt yourself, thinking you don’t have what it takes, or riddled with self doubt.

Sit back and think about it- How many times today have you had negative thoughts about the way you look, how much money you have in the bank, or what kind of clothes you wear? How many thoughts for the entire week? This month? If you’re like most people walking around this earth the number is probably more than you would care to repeat out loud. The average person thinks 60,000 thoughts per day; even if negativity seeps into your subconscious 10% of the time, that’s still 6,000 negative thoughts a day! I can assure you, if you want to reach the pinnacles of success and live the life that you have previously only been able to dream about, the key is changing your thought process.

Because negativity may already be so engrained in your psyche, you are probably thinking- “Change my thought process? Easier said than done. I don’t know where to begin.” If you are guilty of thinking this, don’t worry- here are a few tips!

Create a Personal Mantra
If you are struggling with issues of low self esteem, a good idea may be to look at yourself in the mirror every morning before doing anything else and saying aloud something as simple as “I am beautiful. I am loved. I deserve good things.” As simple as it sounds, if the brain and subconscious hears these things daily, they will begin to think it’s real. Even if you don’t believe it’s real, your brain will and eventually you will subconsciously begin to acts as though you are beautiful, loved, and deserving of good things.

Monitor Media Intake
It can be a bit challenging to focus on the positive thing in your life while being bombarded by all the negativity, violence, and unrealistic images we are bombarded with by the media on a regular basis. Try taking a media fast for 7 days and see what happens. Use the time you would otherwise be surfing the net or watching music videos to start formulating a business or financial plan. Any road to success must start with a map.

Journal
Get into the habit of writing things down. Whenever an idea or inspirational thought pops into your head, write it down on paper. You would be surprised how many people find their calling through re-reading their old notes. It can also be a source of inspiration to see where your thoughts were a month ago and where they are today.

Quit Judging
No longer should we always be ready to classify things as good or bad. Be open to many different situations and people. Your next business move may be hidden behind all of the judgments. What if Russell Simmons and Rick Rubin never got together back in the day? What if they were stuck behind negative thoughts about each other’s race and background? Def Jam and all of the subsequent success would never have happened.

Once you realize how important a role your thoughts play on your journey to success you can begin to make slight changes to your thinking that will yield huge results. If you believe you can fly, you probably can.


Alecia D. is a Successful Lifestyle Expert studying such philosiphies as The Law of Attraction, Zen habits, and the Principles of Meditation. She is currently a Senior Analyst at a Fortune 500 company in New York and her debut self-help manual is set to be released in the Spring of 2008. The manual will be a guide to defining, implementing, and maintaining a successful lifestyle. To contact Alecia D. please email her at aleciadee@gmail.com.

BY: Te-Erika Patterson

Ahhh…Regret. We’ve all been there before. “If only I had gone for that law degree instead of sociology, I’d be making six figures by now.” or “Why didn’t I break up with Damian the first time he lied to me? I wouldn’t have all these trust issues with men.”


You could probably write an entire book filled with vivid descriptions of the life decisions that you have made and the confusion or bliss that followed. Although past joys will most likely outnumber disappointments, for some reason we tend to focus on what seemed to be our failures, magnifying the experiences and allowing the memories to become predictors of our future.

Regret has two sisters, misery and depression. When these twisted sisters sneak into your life, it’s difficult to get them to leave. Even when you manage to close the door, they sneak back in taunting you through distorted mental images and breaking your spirit.

You can break the vicious cycle of regret. The key is to learn to trust yourself.

Do you trust yourself? Do you understand that you are the only person who is equipped to make the best decisions for your life? Each choice that you have made along your life’s journey yields to you becoming better at defining what you DO want for your life.

No choice is a mistake. Every choice is a defining moment. You define your best life by experiencing the contrasting moments, those moments and situations where you KNOW what you have is not what you really want. You would have never known that you prefer chocolate cake over vanilla, if you hadn’t tasted them both. You would have never known that you desire open communication in a relationship until you were involved with a man that kept secrets.

Allow each of these contrasting experiences that you encounter to be the springboard for making life choices that reflect what you do want.

I recently went out with a man who was funny, handsome and successful, but he was also selfish. After our date I didn’t become upset because he didn’t treat me the way that I desire to be treated. Instead, I focused on those qualities that he had that made me attracted to him, and then I replayed the date over in my mind with him behaving in a manner that was more suitable to my tastes. That exercise allowed excitement and joyful anticipation to flow through my spirit. If I continue to brood over the disastrous date, I may never go out with a man again. Why should one train wreck of a date derail my potential happiness? Now that I know what I don’t want, it will be much easier to recognize (and appreciate) those things that I do want.

While you are sitting there, slumped over, focused on the boulder in your life, you’re oblivious to the alternate pathways to moving forward to where you really want to be. When you’re focused on the problems of the past, your subconscious mind is searching for evidence to validate your innate beliefs.

I always make the wrong choices.

I never get it right.

I can’t do this.

As a result, you become less confident in your choices, which will inevitably lead to regretting every decision when the slightest challenge presents itself. Your life will be much more pleasant when you trust that you have always made the best decisions for your life and you will continue to do so.

Replace those limiting beliefs with these heartfelt affirmations:

I am capable of making the best decisions for my life.

Every choice that I make sets me on the right path to my most brilliant future.

I am wise enough, strong enough and intelligent enough to achieve anything my heart desires.

I trust myself in every way.

The past is dead. The future is waiting. The ultimate power is in your NOW. Regret nothing. You have not made a wrong choice. Trust yourself, you always get it right.

BY: Alecia D.


What do you do when you decide that you are ready to pursue new endeavors and realize that you are not impressed by any of your available options? You’ve finally made up your mind to look for a new job and realize that out of the hundreds and hundreds of available positions out there… you don’t want to do any of them. Not one. Though your first instinct may be to resign yourself to the idea of having to slave away at your current job with no feeling of fulfillment until you reach retirement age, maybe you should take this opportunity to look at the situation from a different angle. If looking for an opportunity that encompasses great pay, decent hours, and empowering work hasn’t turned into a fruitful task thus far, this may be a good time to create your own opportunity. Instead of seeing this as a road block try seeing this as an opportunity to blaze a new trail.

Define Your Passion
If all of your bills would be taken care of, you had unlimited educational resources at your disposal, and there were no restraints on your time- what would you absolutely love to do with your life? Do you want to teach? Sing? Inspire? Make a list of all of the occupations you’ve ever wanted to pursue (even the childhood ones of doctor, lawyer, and firefighter) and compare them against your current skill sets and interests. Which ones could you see yourself doing well?

Brainstorm
How many different ways are there to turn what you love to do into a money making opportunity? Trust that for any idea you have, there is a need for it. There is a need for dog walkers, trinket makers, and even (if people can make a living impersonating Elvis, you can make a living doing anything). What steps would you have to take to turn your idea into a business? Do you need to join a trade association, build a website, create a demo CD? What can you do to change this from a dream into reality?

Find a Mentor
When deciding to go out and pursue unchartered territory, it is always helpful to seek out a successful individual who has already achieved success in that area. How did he/she get there? What advice do they have for those starting out in the same field? Are there common mistakes to avoid? One of the most important skills to master when starting out in any new business is networking.

Depending on where you are in your life, you may not be able to drop everything and go full speed ahead toward turning your passion into your business, however, once you figure out what you want to do, you can make the necessary steps to achieving your goals and before you know it you will not only be doing what you love, but you will also be able to make money from it. All of the business giants that you can think of today had to start somewhere. You’d be surprised how few baby steps it takes to start seeing great progress. There are two types of people in the world- those who Do and those who Don’t. Who will you be?

Alecia D. is a Successful Lifestyle Expert studying such philosiphies as The Law of Attraction, Zen habits, and the Principles of Meditation. She is currently a Senior Analyst at a Fortune 500 company in New York and her debut self-help manual is set to be released in the Spring of 2008. The manual will be a guide to defining, implementing, and maintaining a successful lifestyle. To contact Alecia D. please email her at aleciadee@gmail.com.

BY: Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

If you’re waiting for someone or something to give you what you want in life, you’ll wait a long time!

Prosperity is something you create. No one gives it to you. So, stop waiting and get on with making it happen.

What are you thinking about right now? Is it a negative thought? Let’s make some distinctions: the truth is neutral. It is neither negative or positive. Judgments are. So often we fill our head with judgments rather than with the truth or creative thoughts. This is the most practical advice I can give you: only think about the truth to assess your current situation AND then focus only on what you want to create to improve it. Allow no ‘gloom and doom’ thoughts. Why? Because, you guessed it, What You Pay Attention to Expands!

Monitor your thoughts for an hour or so. How many are positive, charged with purpose and clarity? It is reported that the average child up to the age of six, I think, hears 437 negative messages a day. This is a putrid training ground for negativity. So, you can be excused if you are still talking to yourself in negative terms….until this minute, that is! No more.

If you want to be prosperous, you must change your thinking. I was working with a coaching client and, during our first call, I heard, “I just can’t decide what I need to do. Life is passing me by. I have no self-discipline, no relationship and little self-esteem. Nothing in my life is working. I do not have enough money.” Those were statements of truth to him. My first question was “What do you most want?” He did not know where to start. In point of fact, his first statements were more felt than accurate. As we worked, it became clear that he had many habits that served him well, that were working for him. He exercised regularly and gave himself no credit because he did it to blow off steam. He did not let people walk all over him, so, his self-esteem put up some very healthy boundaries. It became clear to me that my client, Kevin, was a perfectionist. That’s trouble. It’s both dangerous and unattainable.

So, we began to talk about prosperity. If he believed that his first statements about himself were the truth, could it be that he was keeping those things in place in two ways: talking about them as facts repeatedly, and, not taking any action steps to change his situation? Begrudgingly, he agreed.

He was holding those things in place in his mind by repeating them to himself daily. No wonder everything in his life had become a downer. Time for a change–A change to prosperity thinking. The dictionary says that prosperity is ‘the condition of being successful or thriving’. You can be prosperous. Change your thinking today and see for yourself.

Here are some tips:

WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO EXPANDS

Listen to your conversation in your head and with others. What are you saying? What are you focusing on? It’s not the glass half empty or full, it’s what’s filling it that counts! It is your turn of mind. NEWS FLASH! You can change it at will.

If it has become a habit for you to bad mouth, poor mouth or nay say, STOP! That’s what is going into your consciousness. Your subconscious mind works in pictures. You say, “I do not smoke” and your subconscious pictures, “I smoke”. It has no picture for ‘not’! If you want to stop smoking, make a mental picture of yourself smoke-free, with pink healthy lungs, bright eyes and great self-esteem.

Beware. You are the painter of the pictures in your mind. Paint the ones you want and never take your eyes off them!

Accept the creative power of your mind and focus it on your goals.

BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE TO THRIVE

In the western culture, many people have difficulties with this. It’s all very convoluted. Many seem to believe that declaring that they are good at things is bragging, conceit or arrogance. Declaring that they deserve nothing but good seems outrageous. WRONG! It is only when we think that we are superior to or more deserving than others that arrogance enters the picture. It’s not about them. It’s about you.

You are here to demonstrate your deeply-held values and contribute your talents. That simple. That’s what makes the world a pleasant, safe place. How can you do that if you are not fully expressing yourself? If you’re living small and thinking negatively?

Not only do you deserve to thrive, you are supposed to thrive. All the conditions for that begin between your ears.

STEP OUT AND BEHAVE “AS IF”

What would you do, say, wear, want and think if you had all the success you could imagine? Start behaving that way.

Rhoberta Shaler

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, has helped thousands to see life differently. Through many years as a transpersonal psychologist, she has assisted people in all phases of life from those facing death and despair to those seeking solutions to the practical problems of living and doing business. Dr. Shaler connects people with their authentic selves, their purpose and values, and provides insights and inspiration to overcome the challenges of personal, family and business life. With her and with the programs she offers, they uncover the deep parts of themselves that make life meaningful, rich and satisfying. To learn more, visit: www.Rhoberta.com Dr. Shaler is the founder of Spiritual Living Network, a free social networking site, http://empressmag.com/articles/www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com