So
you think your man might be cheating? He has been acting a little
weird or just a bit distant. There might have been a new number
calling him or you found one lying around the house. What
can you do to find out the truth and how can you be sure?
You want to find
out what’s going on and your immediate reaction may be to
play I Spy Private Eye. Snoop through his phone, screen
his calls, and check his voice mails. Maybe you decide to go through
his Myspace account and check his messages. Should
you begin to follow him when he goes out and see if he is where
he says he is going to be? Nope. All that will lead to is paranoia
and a resentful attitude towards your man even if you don’t
come up with anything. You could take that phone number that you
found lying around the house and call it. Ask the woman who she
is and why your man has her number? The problem here is, that may
cause unnecessary drama and just end with the two of you cursing
each other out and not really receiving any honest information. You
will be so consumed with the idea of finding something that you
will convince yourself he’s guilty before proving it.
Now you’re
stuck trying to figure out what the next plan of action is. All
kinds of thoughts may be running through your mind and your next
reaction may be to hysterically confront him, attack him, and slash
his tires or something along those lines. That might not be the
best thing to do. Are you sure he is cheating? Did you catch him
in the act? Is this woman you called earlier reacting out
of spite and throwing lies at you? Cold hard evidence is needed
when you plan to confront him. You need to have your facts straight
so you don’t accidently ruin a perfectly good relationship. He
may just be having a personal moment or there may be another explanation
to his changed attitude. If you angrily confront him right away
and are wrong then he may in turn suspect you’re cheating.
If you angrily confront him and are actually right, you still won’t
get the honest answers you’re looking for anyway; just more
lies.
Instead of falling
victim to your irrational, impulse reactions, come to your senses
and relax. The most effective way to find out the truth is simple
communication. What do you have in your relationship if you can’t
have a conversation on the things that are the basis of your relationship--which
are trust and fidelity? If he isn’t cheating then he should
have no problem with having this conversation. He should
understand your concerns and have an explanation for the change
of behavior. If he is cheating then he will probably get defensive,
turn the tables and accuse you of cheating.
Don’t over
react, don’t go after the other girl,
don’t key his car or follow him after work. Get yourself
together and handle it like a woman. You will come out with a much
better outcome, even if it is the one you dreaded to find
out. At least you’re no longer in the dark.
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