YBR Presents MYOB /// Q & A

Sunday, January 03, 2010 Written by Alecia D. /// Find in The Wrap Up

Dear Alecia,

My name is Sierra* and I am 32 years old. I really want to change my life in the New Year but I feel like I am at a stand still. Up until a couple months ago, I was living with my mom in our apt for the past 20+ years, but she recently died after a long battle with cancer. Now I am left alone with no money, no job, no significant other and rent to pay. I finally completed my bachelors degree about 4 years ago but haven't been able to land a job that makes me any real money, so I've been bouncing from one dead end job to another. Needless to say, I am feeling kind of hopeless and not sure where to turn next. I want a better life for myself, but I'm not sure how to proceed. I want to make my mother proud. Please help!

Sierra M.*

Winston-Salem, NC

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Dear Sierra,

First off let me offer you my condolences on the loss of your mother. Although I'm sure that the death of your loved one is contributing to your feelings of loneliness and hopelessness, I want you to know that that the best way to honor your mom's memory is to chart out a successful path for yourself. It sounds like you have been stuck in a rut over the past few years with your situation and I commend you for taking the first step in reaching out for advice and assistance.

I would say that the first order of business is to get your finances at a point where you can begin to support yourself. Hopefully there are family members or a close friend around that you can move in with while you get back on your feet. Once the added stress of rent and bills have been alleviated, it will be easier for you to make your next move. After you've gotten settled, you will have to find a steady job. Update your resume, let friends and family know you're looking, research openings online, and check out the career center of your alma mater. Although, the pickings may be slim, this is a good place to start and you never know what you will find. At this point nothing should be off limits. The goal is to build up enough of a cushion so that you can go back out on your own. Having your mother around as a support system was once something that you could depend on, but unfortunately this is no longer the case. Once you are able to support yourself again, everything else will eventually fall into place.

Success may not come overnight but with a plan and perseverance you will be able to achieve your goals. Your main focus needs to be on building your independence and happiness. Yes, it is always nice to have lots of money and a significant other, but I'm sure these aren't the things that will make your mother proud. Being able to support yourself and remaining healthy and happy is what counts. Although you may feel hopeless now, it is important to remember that life is cyclical. Right now you are experiencing a low, but there is a high point on the horizon.

All my best,

Alecia D.

* Names have been changed.

If you have a question you would like to "Ask Alecia", email her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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Thanks,

Alecia D.

Founder, YBR Enterprise Inc.

www.YoungBlackRich.net